Gluteus maximus

Like Abu Hamza's shirts, gluten has had something of a bad press lately.Once just the enemy of coeliacs, it has, in recent years, become something of a bete noir for the Diet Industry, charged with causing everything from trapped wind, bloating and stomach cramps to more extreme claims of cancer, schizophrenia and diabetes, if you were to believe the gluten-free fruitcake end of the Professional Healthscare IndustryTM

Coeliacs stubbornly remain a distinct minority, at 1% of the population, so what accounts for the mass avoidance of gluten, and its sinister carrier, wheat? Is this a mass psychosomatic episode of sluggish feelings and heavy guts? Man has, after all, farmed and eaten glutenised wheat for 10,000 years. It is literally the foundation of civilisation - the ability to plant crops instead of just gathering the windfall is the single breakthrough from which all societies descend. I don't doubt those people who avoid wheat and its byproducts are genuinely feeling something, even if its only discomfort instead of serious illness. But why now and is it indigestion or just indulgence?

To answer this we need to understand gluten's role in the breadmaking process. Wheat itself contains no actual gluten but, rather, two storage proteins, Gliadin and Glutenin. When mixed with water they create gluten, a sub-microscopic network. For breadmakers the great advantage of this network is it traps the carbon dioxide released when yeast reacts with sugars, giving air to bread. But something all home bakers know is this process takes time, probably the most precious commodity of all to commercial producers of bread.


For a clue to why gluten intolerance/dislike/faddishness is so prevalent, look at the side of your supermarket loaf. Here's mine in the picture to your left. Note the key ingredients they have helpfully notated with the emboldened word 'wheat': Wholemeal flour, Soya Flour, Fermented wheat flour, Wheat protein. Or to put it another way: gluten, gluten, gluten and gluten. The stuff is packed with gluten. Why? Because of greater elasticity, and greater carbon dioxide trapping properties. Which means faster bread. The whole point about supermarket bread is its fast turnaround, the Ryanair of wheat products. If you are eating a leavened loaf that was flour less than two hours before, I struggle to describe it properly as 'bread'. Rather, it's an emulsified gluten delivery system.

And this is just your daily loaf. Let's not forget its active role in foodstuffs such as ketchup, soy sauce, beer and ice cream. Not to mention a handy substitute for meat in vegetarian supermarket food and to bulk out low fat diet foods. Yes, the very tendencies toward healthy eating may unwittingly be driving up the average gluten intake, driving health food followers into the arms of the anti-gluten lobby.

Bread is usually the gluten scapegoat for people seeking to ease their abdominal bloating. It's easy to see why, as the single biggest source of gluten we can identify in our diets. But in throwing this particular bathwater away, our loss is the amazing pleasures of the beautiful baby inside it, to stretch a slightly disturbing metaphor. If people would discover the pleasure of making their own bread, they'd be amazed to find they could still enjoy one of the finest, not to say oldest, pleasures known to man. A freshly baked loaf of bread.